Stinkerpants

I’ve had half-written blog posts floating around in my head for weeks, but I haven’t written them because I can’t seem to form a coherent sentence. Why? Because I’m dumb now.

One of the things no one warned me about was how dumb motherhood makes you. Now, I don’t mean that I’m truly dumb, I just mean that my brain doesn’t quite function like it used to. I have trouble recalling words (I kid you not, a mom friend and I recently had a conversation in which neither of us could remember something really obvious. I’d tell you what that obvious thing was - just for the sake of a good laugh - but now I can’t remember it (of course)). I can’t keep thoughts in my head for longer than 45 seconds, I’m always leaving drawers open, and I constantly walk into rooms and forget why I’m there.

This is not to say that I haven’t always been kind of a dingbat. I have. But the level of dingbattedness is totally ridiculous now. I often have to read directions three times, and even then I still mess up whatever I was trying to do because I forgot something important.

What I really need is a giant whiteboard to float next to me at all times, so I can quickly write down whatever I’m thinking. It takes too long to add a reminder on my iphone. By the time I open the app, I’ve already forgotten whatever I needed to write down. Nope, the white board is the best solution. But of course it will need an attached pen, or I’ll leave it somewhere and never find it again.

Mom, I apologize for making fun of you for never knowing where your keys are. Or for leaving your coffee in the microwave. I now do both of those things, and I realize that it isn’t your fault. We’re dumb now.

One of the things I’ve repeatedly failed at is cooking. More specifically, menu-planning.

I’ve always hated figuring out what to eat. But add to that a dairy-free, gluten-free, picky-ass toddler, and you have a recipe for a major crankypants in the kitchen.

I’ve talked before about C’s intolerance to various foods, but I left off when she was under a year old and barely eating solids. What has transpired since then has changed our entire family.

I’m going to get into how we’re helping C with her allergies later, but to summarize, she and I are both seeing an acupuncturist/homeopath, who recommended that I get tested to see what I’m allergic & intolerant to (often, baby is allergic to what mama is allergic to). As it turns out, I am intolerant to dairy - like, really intolerant - and not just lactose, but dairy in all it’s forms: whey, lactose, milk protein, sheep’s milk, goat’s milk, etc. I would also say that, for much of my life, I was addicted to dairy.

When C had her first reactions through my breastmilk, I decided to give up dairy, soy and wheat. At first, this was extremely hard and not something that I ever would have done for myself.  When she was 10 months old, I was able to reintroduce all of these foods with no reaction from C. In total, I went nine months without dairy. I will say that I don’t crave it anymore, and it’s no longer my go-to (we don’t even keep milk in the house anymore). At this point, cutting out dairy is mostly an annoyance, as it makes eating out with friends difficult. Also, I love pizza.

But I digress.

At present, I am ashamed to admit that Y and I eat out most of the time, and we are stuck in a rut about what to feed C. She rejects most everything, so it’s really annoying to cook her something only to find that it goes in the garbage after she rejects it 15 times.

This morning as I shared a vegan black bean & yam tamale with C, I realized that I have to buck up and make a change. She will often eat stuff simply because we’re eating it, and if it’s something she can’t have, we have to hide it or she cries. It’s really sad. :( I’m feeling like a world-class awesome mama admitting this right now, let me tell you. :(

So while I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions, I’m making one. And only one. And I am resolving it PUBLICLY and hope that you will PUBLICLY SHAME ME if I fail. Got it? That’s your job: public shaming. As if my own guilt wouldn’t be enough. ;)

My resolution is this: I will be cooking dairy-free and gluten-free, and I will be menu-planning. I am giving myself until January to figure out how the #%!@ to do this, but if I can do it sooner, great.

So, step one: meal planning. As much as I dread this task, it has to be done - I can't imagine waking up every day and having to plan dinner. Nope, it must be done once per week. I have tried google calendars, excel spreadsheets and pretty magnetic meal planners. It hasn’t helped. I simply don’t follow through.

I also need to find some dairy-free, gluten-free recipes so that I have some meals to plan, as I’ve had to throw out all of my go-to easy meals & favorite pasta dishes. 

Meal requirements:

• must be dairy- and wheat-free
• must take 30 minutes or less to prepare (including time spent chopping vegetables)
• must not taste like crap

Fun, huh? Wish me luck!

Are you a good meal planner? Do you hate it, but do it anyway? I’d love some tips!

However, my dollhouse isn't the dollhouse in Midnight in the Dollhouse. By a long shot. And after talking to my dad about my ideas to fix it, I finally had to admit that he was right when he said, "you're trying to make a fine dollhouse, and this is just not a fine dollhouse." Basically, it wasn't worth all the effort I was thinking of putting into it.

 

So (of course) I got on Craigslist. There are a lot of dollhouses on Craigslist, my friends. And I found the perfect one for me. I am totally thrilled with its potential and am so excited to see C and any future siblings play with it. Here it is in the back of our car:

 

I think it looks pretty cute back there.

 

When I went to pick it up, I met the girls who used to play with it, and they wanted to make sure it went to a good home. Considering all the work I did on the very first day, I think it's found a nice new home. :)

 

Here's Elvis Purrsley, modeling in the "before" photo:

 

The first step in my remodeling process was removing all the carpets and wallpaper:

 

Yikes. This is more work than I thought! Next up? Either painting the walls or installing wallpaper, and hardwood floors.

 

I'm excited to work on it, and share the process with you guys. I think buying a new house ($60! Cheapest house I'll ever buy, I'm sure!) was the right way to go. What do you think?

 

I have fallen victim to my friend Reichel’s peer pressure. She has convinced me to participate in the I’m a Giant Challenge, which is a dollhouse challenge started by HGTV Design Star’s Emily Henderson. The idea is to redecorate a dollhouse and, basically, make it awesome. Emily is convinced that dollhouses don't have to be weird & creepy, and has some cool ideas for making a modern, non-scary dollhouse. There are a lot of very creative people participating in the challenge - it’s pretty intimidating!

At first I thought I was lucky to already have a dollhouse from when I was a kid. With electric lights and everything! But when I had my mom send me photos, I was...underwhelmed. To be honest, I think it’s fugly, and I am totally uninspired.
 

It's entirely possible that I'm uninspired because Reichel's dollhouse is so fabulous I can't contain myself. It's hard not to be inspired by her amazing Craigslist find, am I right? I'm thinking mine needs some architectural help before I even think about the inside.

The problem is that the challenge ends in December, and I won’t have the dollhouse in my actual hands until Thanksgiving. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that I’ll make it on time. But I’m gonna do it anyway.

As I was saying, I’m thinking that I need to work on the outside in order to get inspired. Any ideas to make it less...blah? I’ve had a couple of ideas (see below).

 

Idea #1 is to add a third floor (kind of like a basement) then add doors that open on the side so there's more of an "outside" than there is now. Idea #2 is to add the doors and forget about the basement, but change the location of the front door. There's something about the door that irritates me.

 

What do you guys think? The stand it's sitting on won't be part of it.

 

I have (of course) created a pinterest board for the project. So far I'm thinking of doing a black & white outside and an extremely colorful inside. :) Here are a few color schemes I'm toying with:

I'm excited about the project - it will be fun to create something that C can play with (and hopefully not break) when she's older!